Beating to Winward: A New Course
I have always loved to sail, in large part because the ocean feels like home to me. I used to sit on the waters edge, close my eyes, and with my hands beside me feel the tide come in and out. The tide was her breath, that unknowable one who embraced us but would not speak. Except in her language which was formed by the small absences of stars and the still sweet hollow honeycombs. I knew that I belonged to this immense thing, and there I felt completely myself and immensely loved. I suppose it might seem odd to feel loved by such a fierce and fickle, silent source; the God of my youth was not verbose but verdant.
The ocean has gifted me many things, and if you have not read Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Gifts from the Sea", please grab a copy as soon as can be! The gift of sailing was a lesson in not being able to go straight. Your point across the bay will have to be reached by a series of laughing negotiations with the wind. You tack, change directions, essentially zigzagging your way to your destination. The wind propels your craft but your course is unknown to it. The wind is great at doing it's own thing.
Big things are happening around here and I hope these changes will enable me to share more recipes and stories with you. In fact, devote a lot more time. They are exciting and scary changes and they make me want to make a cake and sit down in the kitchen with you and say...let's support each other in what we love to do, because it may involve taking a risk. This may mean taking a social risk, a financial risk, or a "what about my getting old and creaky plan?" risk. I've thought a lot about the stock wisdom of where we should be in our careers by a certain date, so that we are saving and putting things by for when our teeth fall out. I am a big fan of preventative medicine. I don't plan for getting old not because I don't think I will get old, but because I don't think any of these things can be planned for. It excites me to have the freedom to say, "yes, I am going to take this job I love because this is what I am breathing to do", as opposed to the pressured, " I should take this job because it sits along a safe trajectory and looks better on my resume." Compelling reasons I do not doubt! I am tempted by them. Not tempted enough of late. I want to learn all I can about how to cook and even how to grow food that is as good for the earth as it is for us. I want to cook for people, even a small group of people, everyday. I want to invest my time in alternative modes of living that are life-giving and vibrant. I'd just like to be near the sea, and to cook you pasta. I didn't give up anything by taking this tack, I use my degree everyday even if I can't prove it to a board or a CEO. Every tack is additive. And every strange and sometimes dreary place you have been has taught you a new skill, and given you a new way to talk with all sorts of people.
On that note, I leave you to dream up another version of mac and cheese to share. Or a really pink Valentine's Day layer cake. Keep an eye out for a Salt and Sirens Supper Club addition in March. You will be able to purchase tickets and join us for an evening of spring solstice inspired dishes and wishes in Brooklyn! Keep warm and keep encouraged with the true words of those that love you.